So I'm not going to be the first person to say that Paul WS Anderson is a pretty shit director. He's sort of the poor man's Michael Bay. Except he's not poor. He's frequently given a legit budget for some random reason. I guess his movies make enough money to justify him getting opportunities to make a shit-load of sequels and whatever moronic projects he wants to (The Three Musketeers! With steam-punk airships! And martial arts! And explosions! Yeah!). I guess the very faint praise I can offer in favor of him is his vague sense of style. He can direct an action scene...competently. He make his sets and actors look of relative interest. And that's about it. I mean, do we really need FIVE Resident Evil movies? Does anyone actually know or care at this point what happens in them story-wise? One can watch and be distracted by any of his movies to the lowest level of consumerist enjoyment in terms of slightly entertaining Hollywood action flicks. There are things that happen on screen in his movies that I see occurring. I don't feel anything about those images. There aren't any emotions. But they exist in an inoffensive, overly simplistic manner. Is he really a director I can say I hate? No. He hasn't done enough as an artist to justify me giving any kind of significant opinion or analysis regarding his films other than merely recognizing that he makes movies.
I'll confess then that there aspects of his films that are fun. In a very very stupid kind of way. The image might look cool. The story might be blandly unoriginal and basic instead of sophisticated or overly complicated. The actors usually range from bad to...there. Saying lines. Not emoting. Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon, Death Race, and even elements of the Resident Evil films entertain. And I'd be lying if I said the first time I saw Alien vs. Predator I didn't enjoy myself. I did. Genuinely. Admittedly I was around 12 or 13 at the time, so I found a great many things entertaining. I had yet to develop any sense of intelligence-based criticism or analysis, so anything that held my attention for more than five seconds I referred to as "cool" and "fun." In retrospect the film is monstrously stupid. And it remains so. But mostly in a Freddy vs. Jason or Charlie's Angels kind of way. The directors and writers are clearly having fun doing what they do best, which is mostly injecting an already idiotic story with as much cheese and oddly well-produced scenes of destruction and humor and action. AVP does have good CGI. It distracts your attention for about 90 minutes with some neat explosions. It doesn't make much sense. It has a human...I can't believe I'm writing this...buddy up with a Predator. And they kill the Alien Queen by pushing her off a cliff. Enough said about that movie.
AVP: R as it is called in shorthand has none of what made AVP so good. That's saying A LOT. It's such a strangely confused and confusing movie. So darkly lit and incompetently directed as to make virtually every scene of action or violence incomprehensible and the only bits that are watchable end up being the incredibly dull "dramatic" parts that are supposed to "develop" the characters. Everyone working on the movie clearly said- "Characters? In an Alien movie? No way. We want awkward CGI and bunch of overly shadowed scenes of evisceration and a plot that makes no sense." Even though when you read the summary it sort of does make sense, which basically means the directors fucked up the simplest of Hollywood plots. Two kinds of bumbling alien monsters crash in a conveniently deserted town and have at it. Some stupid teens get involved. They sort of save the day, only to fuck things up further. The military comes in and drops a nuke. BOOM. The end. Um, wasn't that whole story framework dropped back in the 60's? The Alien movies do not equal The Blob or Tarantula. You know it's bad when the plot of AVP sounds more plausible and interesting than your sequel.
I really don't think it's necessary to say much more beyond what I have here. It's a sufficient enough analysis of two movies that really really don't deserve any kind of reviews, let alone an attempt at legit critical attention. They tanked for a reason. And Fox said, "Let's toss about some prequel ideas for a few years and chat with Ridley Scott. Maybe he's got a hankering for reigniting interest in this already incredibly tired film series..."
PS- Isn't it a tad funny to think that the Alien movies got bad after only one sequel?
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