Shaken, Not Stirred...My Favorite Bond Movies In Order

Again, pretty self-explanatory, a little commentary on each, in order from least to greatest.

22. Moonraker (As they said on Buffy, "The gondola turns into a hovercraft? Retarded!" This movie took things too far even by Bond standards. It's one thing to have the weapon of mass destruction for the villain to be in space, but to have the final battle take place there? Yeah, no...)

21. Diamonds Are Forever (Connery's Bond just doesn't translate to the 70's. At all. Also the henchmen are absurdly homophobic caricatures even by those day's standards of camp sissiness.)

20. Octopussy (The tone of this movie is just ALL over the place. It's completely devoid of any emotion or interesting action scenes or romantic intrigue.)

19. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (I like the injection of genuine romantic drama, but the style and colors are garish even by the standards of the 60's.)

18. The Living Daylights (Dalton is a little too serious and straight in his first outing, the political intrigue gets kind of heavy handed, and the plot is oddly over complicated for a Bond movie.)

17. A View To A Kill (The scene of Walken slaughtering a bunch of innocent men is really awkward and distasteful for a Bond movie and oddly affects the entire tone of the movie. It's nice when May Day turns good at the end though, and I really love Grace Jones' performance. Also Moore's face basically turned into rubbery leather.)

16. The Man With the Golden Gun (This movie is really really long. And the ending is devoid of any stakes because it takes place on Scaramanga's mostly empty island.)

15. Licence To Kill (The Dalton Drama feels more real this time. And the shot of the 18-wheeler truck going up on one side is a neat homage to Diamonds Are Forever and is still one of the coolest stunts I've ever seen on screen.)

14. GoldenEye (This movie is hyper-sexualized to the nth degree for no real reason except to titillate the moviegoers. The political is way overplayed for a Bond movie. Famke Janssen is ridiculously good though as the Grace Jones type henchman. The romantic stuff is nicely updated in terms of the strong female role instead of the usual dumb bimbo Bond girl, but ultimately her character has little to do in terms of the story. The music (the score, not the Tina Turner theme) is really awful and dated.)

13. Quantum of Solace (A gigantic letdown after Casino Royale, but I don't really hold it up to those standards because of the kind of movie it's trying to be. The main problem is its attempts at emulating the Bourne style of action and editing, a style I already have problems with. Ultimately the plot is kind of interesting and at least different, though the stakes are REALLY LOW. The action can be cool and the attempts at drama for Bond's character after losing Vesper are compelling thanks to Craig's and Dench's performances.)

12. The World Is Not Enough (Pretty subversive ending in retrospect- making the initial Bond girl into the real villain and sub-planting the expected bad guy into a large henchman role. The involvement with M is nice and doesn't dismiss her as another exposition-spewer as usual.)

11. Die Another Day (Kind of divisive in terms of Bond movies. It's big and bold and brash and a bit boring. But ultimately the bombast outweighs the weak narrative and the side characters all give nice and fun performances. It's like an 80's Moore Bond movie made today. Really stupid, but fun and kind of a guilty pleasure.)

10. For Your Eyes Only (A gorgeous Bond girl. Some of the best location shooting in a Bond movie. And some really neat and original action scenes. The plot is a little confusing, but ultimately solid fun.)

9. The Spy Who Loved Me (The quintessential Moore Bond movie. Over the top production. Too much camp 'comedy'. But a supreme sense of fun and silliness that balance out the surprisingly well done melodramatic romance for the usually dramatically dull Moore.)

8. Thunderball (Too much of a muchness for a Connery Bond movie. The bombast gets a little excessive. But because it's a 60's Bond movie, the experimenting continues with tone and style. It's different from the previous entries which is good. The underwater fights are still really impressive for the time and the locations are incredible.)

7. Live and Let Die (The best of the Moore Bond movies. The action scenes are incredible. The music is awesome. And Jane Seymour is gorgeous. Moore is actually kind of charming instead of smug and gross and...old. Yes there's an abundance of relative racism, but this was at the height of Blaxploitation movies, so as usual the Bond producers are going with the flow of what's popular regardless of tastelessness.)

6. You Only Live Twice (The action and gadgets overwhelm which is kind of the strength of this otherwise dull Bond movie which is filled with unintentional racism when Connery goes Japanese partway through. The bits with both Aki and Kissy are dramatically well done thanks to the performances of the usually solid Japanese actors.)

5. Dr. No (Just a complete classic. It definitely has its rough edges with style and tone. But it holds up really well and is fantastically paced, except the end which kind of drags when Dr. No actually shows up to exposit information. So many iconic moments make this a joy to watch.)

4. From Russia With Love (A fantastic story. An incredible Bond girl (though in retrospect she's given next to nothing to do in terms of story). Excellent locations. And one of the best fights ever depicted on screen with Bond facing off against Grant. This one cements the style and tone of Bond even more than Dr. No but also has a story that's much more classically spy-oriented in the Le Carre style of plots and characters.)

3. Goldfinger (The best of the classic Bond movies. It's got everything. EVERYTHING. The Girl. The Villain. The Henchman. The Car. The Gadgets. The Action. The Song. The Story. The Fun. It establishes all that's great about Bond films.)

2. Tomorrow Never Dies (This is the first Bond movie I ever saw on the big screen. It was an incredible experience. This is my personal favorite Bond movie in the same way Star Trek Generations is my favorite Trek movie. There's no real good reason aside from how it still makes me feel in terms of having fun and experiencing movies as just escapist entertainment and nothing else. I love the modern villain. I love Michelle Yeoh as the Best and Most Bad Ass Bond Girl ever. EVER. She holds her own to James and they fall for each other instead of him wooing her. The action is still incredible to me. Just so much love and respect for this retro-styled and fun-filled Bond flick in an era where the Bond movies tended to take themselves a bit too seriously.)

1. Casino Royale (A perfect film in every sense of the word. It's actually dramatic, there's a character arc for Bond. I repeat- A CHARACTER ARC FOR JAMES FUCKING BOND. The acting is incredible. The production is pristine. The action scenes are original and exciting (the free running sequence still amazes me). And the ending is unexpected and so subversive to what we expect from a Bond movie. It just gets everything right on every level for me.)